This day was quite emotionally eventful for me. I could blame it on my horrible nights sleep(drank coffee way too late yesterday) or my cycle but I'd rather not- I don't want to look for some explanation to my emotions and try to solve them- I need to practice just being okay with them. Granted, my emotionally eventful days look very much like any other day to everyone else, but they feel different and my mind obsesses on what other people think and many other things that are none of my business and I have no control over. So lots of feelings inside my head, ups and downs today.
First, I was thrown by a meeting I was not prepared for, which allowed some insecurity about my preparedness for my rowdy 1st period to creep in- then I had First period. Within 5 minutes I had asked 2 students to step out(aah it was so peaceful while they were gone...), then I invited them back in, lesson was moving along fairly smooth with attentive students. Then Principal swings by to hang out for a minute and I immediately felt "not good enough" and unsure of myself ( ohhh the way life gives us road signs and flashing lights to our deeper issues). But wait, there's more in First period... as we moved into the second lesson of the day (which I worked my butt off on), my patience disappeared as my chronic disrupter stood right up while I was explaining the lesson and learning goals, telling me how I need to let him use a charger for his computer etc. Guess who got to go outside again???
Everything was uphill from there. My yearbook team has really been gelling and seem to be more clear about what they need to do- with a lot of self starting. Pretty good lunch, but I forgot my greens! Then a couple student visits on my prep that reassured me about the positive impacts I have on my students and a couple colleague interactions that I was very thankful for.
I'm going to sleep like a baby.
A-ha: Embracing my emotions can help facilitate me getting to the true nature of them, instead of turning to my ego which tries to control them.
Reminder: Tomorrow's Friday!!!!!!